So, some here that know me may know that for a while I kinda had some issues dealing with my dreams.
Let me explain, when I sleep theres a 99%+ chance my dreams will be vivid and lucid in every capacity. that means in my dreams I can taste, smell, hear, feel and see everything as if it were real. not only that things had been getting pretty freaky where characters in my dreams can respond to me in ways that I have no idea what they would say, but they tell me things; names of places and responses to questions I didn't expect.
So, I started to wonder, when I sleep am I actually going places? I ruled out sleep-walking. because there is no city called Co-kasar and earth has around 7 or 8 continents depending on various viewpoints by various real world parties, but I've never heard someonein reality say we had 12 continents. In dreams I have heard people tell me we had 12 continents, thats a bit of a stretch for people to say about our planet. the people in that dream didn't know what a country, state/province was either.
and if I was going places, well.. then.. what I do in my dreams actually could be effecting people somewhere. So.. filling my head with images of violence (playing a superhero game where we use a variety of super lethal methods of taking down enemies in example, or violent behavior in anime etc.) could effect what happens in my dreams before I'm fully conscious there.. I know that sounds strange "being conscious in a dream".
So I was pretty distraught, kinda blew my top with lots of very negative excuses in PvP, before realizing what was really bothering me.
Well, I mostly have that under control. mostly.. my dreams are still super vivid and lucid, if anything they've gotten more vivid and more lucid.
For the dreams I am able to remember when I wake up, on days I'm not disturbed before the memory is fully written, I plan to describe the stranger things I've encountered here in this thread related to my dream time.. I do not plan to divulge full descriptions of entire dreams unless absolutely necessary for context (so there will be some full dream logs here).
Warning, there may be some religious contexts in here, read at your own discretion Or not.
Let me start with some very strange occurrences I had.
so, there's a state of mind between sleeping and being awake. this has been the basis of fairytales, such as neverland, which according to the fairytale exists "inbetwween dream and reality". So yes there is actually such a state of mind. Some people get stuck in this state, it can lead to whats called "sleep paralysis" where you wake up and cannot move no matter how you try.
I have encountered sleep paralysis multiple times. people hear strange things when in this state. and after experiencing it many times I can say why, when you are in that state for some reason your brain makes your sense of hearing Super Powered. you can hear minute details of sounds that normally you could not hear. I think this is actually a defense mechanism of the body to allow a sleeping person to hear potential dangers to a exponentially greater effect than when awake because you are practically denied of every other real world sense.
However, things got even stranger.
Multiple times I have woken up and could still hear the people in my dreams talking to me. only for a few seconds. like half a minute tops, usually. and yes I knew they were dream characters so I'm not lacking the ability to disassociate real things from dream things. I don't hear voices at any other time, just in this waking gap. Normally this state of mind only lasts a split second, but for me it can last for minutes sometimes.
Q: can you talk to the dream characters and get responses in this state?
A: Yes. - this makes it super strange. almost ethereal.
now for a long time that has been the limit. and it fades as I become more conscious/aware here in the real world. However things have gotten even stranger.
One time (during a summer holiday in a rented house) I woke up and had my right hand behind me where the edge of the bed should be while sleeping on my side (for bloodflow reasons), and I had this strange sensation in my hand; I was touching skin. and I thought for a moment "is it really skin? or is it just my brain tricking me and really it's the sheets?" so I gavee it a good light grab, then rubbed it, and yep, it was still the texture of skin and had the shape of a thigh. so my next investigation was to rub it and pay attention to if I felt anything on my own body (because that would indicate I had my arm at some odd angle and was actually touching my own thigh) so I rubbed it some more. and no. I did not feel anything rubbing any part of me.
At that point I got a bit spooked and did not want to turn around. so I decided to use my hand to detect if indeed this was a thigh and not the edge of a pillow or bed etc. by shape, you know, if it's a thigh it should be connected to things in a structure that the edge of a pillow or bed will not be. so I went further and found the thigh was indeed connected to hips, adn the hips connected to a waist, and the wasit connected to a chest, and a chest connected to shoulders and arms, and a neck and head. I gave it a little back of neck massage with one hand so as to act innocent and then put my hand back to myself and turned around and no one was there.
sounds like a ghost story huh?
so, in that state of being inbetween dream and reality yet fully aware of real world surroundings, I could not just hear people from my dreams speak, but actually touch them as if they had real-world tangible volume and texture.
but then when I got back from vacation something I'd never had happen in a long time happened.
(in a full dream state): I was in a dream, I ended the dream by going to my bedroom and laying down in my real world bed to go to sleep. but I had left the door to my room open. and outside my room, rather than the hallway in my IRL house, was the kitchen of the mess-hall of a factory from my dream.
then I woke up IRL
(now awake in reality): the hallway was still the kitchen for the messhall of the factory. my door was still open. and lo and behold the lady that was helping me in the kitchen comes to my doorway and says "would you like me to close your door?" and I said "no, leave it open please", and she said "alright" and she left to go back to the kitchen. and then I just stared at the doorway while sitting up and watched as the open door faded away and a closed door replaced it. - great so now in that mental state between dream and reality I can still see things and hear things that are happening in my dream as if overlayed over reality.
it's not all pleasant though. I began to be concerned about what would happen if I died in my dreams. and even more concerned about what happens to dream characters. (a bit loopy for sure) but didn't let it effect reality other than feeling bad for dreamworld characters in certain situations.
Then sometime later, I had a nightmare, and in the dream near the end,
(fully in dream): context, I was assigned to be part of a 3 man team of monster hunters, it was super strange because we had the ability to pull up a hud display over the top of the dream like a banner and grab equipment from the hud to use in the dream. we were sent to get rid of strange dragon like creatures whose bodies had thick plates of what I'd say was pure white rock in rounded but square plates (lookign somewhat like an armadillo, but with solid black between the plates and the plates protruded from their bodies in a square fashion. at first all was well, I took out 3 weapons, one of which could suck up the monsters like a vaccuum, and another was a pair of lightsaber like things. and so I dove down into the monster nest and a big one materialized out of ash, and I used the vaccum thing to suck some of it up, but the tank got full, so we retreated. my allies went deeper in looking for places to hide while I flew out and distracted the large monster and got away from it by getting between a broken roof and floor ont he side of the area. but there were more of the monsters on that level of the building, small ones and they backed me into a corner. so I grabbed the lightsaber things I had put in my back pocket and began fighting, they were super effective, until they ran out of power and disappeared leaving me defenseless and cornered lol.
then they bit me. and OW!!!! that hurt!!! it hurt so bad I woke up.
(fully awake state in reality): but the pain was still there.. I could feel their bite marks. as if they were down to the bone. (and for the rest of the day the pain would flare up here and there) but there was no actual damage that I could see. but despite the pain, I somehow got back into the same dream while awake and in pain.
(back into the dream), I got to my feet, threw the monsters off me and ran back to HQ to get help. I made it. and in HQ I asked some people for help and they agreed and said "this is gonna cost you, you know" and so I was like "yeah, I'll owe you one." and we went back to go take care of the monsters together. when we got there, my partners who had stayed behind used my distraction to get the jump on the monsters so there was nothing much to do. but in pretense I emptied my vaccum thing at headquarters into a containment mechanism just to be sure, when I got there they told me they took care of it. but there was one tiny monster sleeping on top of a mailbox. so I used the vaccuum to suck it up because we wouldn't want it to wake up again.
They fed me.I had pancakes and sausage and eggs.
When I woke up again,
(fully awake again) the pain from the bites was still there. pulsating here and there. but I was very full.
This is not the first time I had such strange things happen with Food. I have been fed in dreams before and woke up full and not hungry for like 3 or 4 hours. in the dream of Co-kasar (city name) they fed me sandwiches, and a cup full of brown sugar, that dream was Very Long. I woke up not hungry didn't need breakfast that day.
Then there's the thiong that happens when you eat, you know, after a while everyone has to do it. I've done that in dreams. #1 and #2. (now.. you know when we were babies if we did that in a dream, we'd for sure mess ourselves in reality), but in reality there was no mess.. and I was empty. I did not have to use the restroom that day.
Now lets talk about Very Long dreams and what I mean by Very Long. I mean there was a string of events that was for a period of 48 hours. you know, 2 full days. I slept in the dream, I ate int he dream I lived and worked in the dream and slept again got fully rested and woke up again and you get the idea. and it was definitely full rested sleep, I even dreamed in the dream.
but get this, that day before this happened I actually had had trouble sleeping, I ened up going to sleep at like 7 AM and waking up at 11 AM. only 4 Hours. but I was gone for 48 in the dream filled with 48 hours worth of events. but I returned well rested.
over time I just kinda accepted that my dreams cannot be fully understood by me. and that I should just be careful and caring to everyone in my dreams.
but being a pascifist ended up getting me beheaded. that was a shock. it hurt really bad. my head rolled to the ground, and a short while later I woke up. when i woke up (middle of the night), no matter how I relaxed myself I could not get back to sleep. the best way I can describe it was like I was Blocked "connection refused", "the phone number you have dialed is offline, please try again later".
this is not the only time I have died in dreams since then. the last time was a few nights ago, on the planet with 12 continents.
(there was a dream before this next segment that leads into it, I remember it but it's not relavant to the main dream that day outside of these brackets below, it was about me being led by this lady aroudn this kinda overgrown area with dirt paths between vegetation, she pointed out some stonework in the path and under the vegeetation and said "that used to be where the kitchen table was", then I saw a dog running around (which looked exactly like my old dog from when I was a kid) and found some intact houses, but then went calling for my old dog and went accross a small brook and on the shore of a pond as the slope of the shore got slightly raised I fell down and passed out)
I ended up in a cafe, on the upper floor, I was trying to talk to people there to ascertain whether they knew anything about our world and find out more about theirs. I asked what state/province we were in they had no idea what states or provinces are, I asked what country we were in, they said "whats a country?", I asked how many continents they have on their world, they counted for a moment and said "twelve" and I said "thats alot more than back in my world, what's your world called?" they replied "Earth" and I said "Strange seems a very common name for planets then, mine is also called earth" I then said "in my world we have video game companies called Nintendo and Sony, Sega as well" they laughed and said the names sounded funny, especially Sony they got a kick out of it and I couldn't understand why. I told them about the NES, but I couldn't remember what the Sony systems were called. they were a bit shocked at this course of conversation and One of them decided to lead me out of that cafe to show me more of their world.
About this time I got that feeling, you know the one "you are about to wake up, because you knew this was a dream and are becoming too conscious." but then it was like the back of my brain clamped down on the dream and there was this energy flow like I've never experienced before. I had Complete control over how long I could stay in this dream, absolutely complete control, I could have lived there, everything became super vivid and super lucid (and thats saying something because normally my dreams are super vivid and lucid). so this was like Hyper level integration... it was like I felt I was disconnecting for my body here in our reality and establishing my presence there.
then they took me to an arcade, we played games then went to a cinema and watched a movie.
Mid movie I remember the name of the Playstation. so I told the one that was with me "I'm going back to the cafe I remembered the name of the other game system for Sony, the Playstation, I want to know if they've ever heard of it" they were like "Ok".
so I went back to the cafe, and the guy I wanted to see that I had been talking to previously was there, but he was smoking, inside the building. so I guess that isn't illegal there, I got a bit irked, but figured I should respect their laws. so I decided I would just go over quickly and tell him then walk away. I mean he was smoking something with a lot of smoke coming from it. but when I got close, gah... the smoke was so strong... it gave me that feeling of chemically burning my eyes and then I started to have trouble breathing and was coughing pretty bad. it was a chemical burn in my lungs. so I told him quickly "I remembered the sony system was called the playstation" and then passed out keeled over the table he was sitting at unable to breathe.
but the dream didn't end there, see, I was fully latched onto it, I had full control over starting and stopping the dream, so not even a reflex like choking or dieing would trigger me to wake up, I'd have to consciously stop the dream myself, but being passed out I could not do that.
So I ended up coming-to in this place.. it was a tall building arrayed with windows between white pillars. light shone in through the windows. and there were people sitting around on stone seats built into the walls. then some sort of administrator came and said "you can't be here, you don't have a towel" and pointed to everyone else and they all had these white towels on their shoulders. So I asked "where do I get a towel?" and he pointed down a hallway that went past changing rooms on every side.
I went through and on the other side was an archway that openned up to the sky, outside there was an orange sky like sunset, but darker and more deep in color, there were buildings to the right each one had these small abodes in them, just big enough for a bed and maybe some shelving, maybe a TV. some were bigger than others, but there were no doors on any, more like shower curtains. there were LOTS of them. all jam-packed together. multiple floors going way way up. the buildings were made of red brick and were very square. the buildings were arranged parallel to what I thought was a body of water like a lake but it was very hot when I would get near it to go to these houses. I asked the first person in the first one where I could get a towel, he pointed behind me and said "that guy is the only one handing out towels any more."
I looked back to where I had came from near the archway, and there was a table set-up next to it on it's right (from my perspective) up against the wall of the building. I went over and there was a tiny man as small as a baby with two short pointy horns and red skin and he was flying. and I said "I was sent here from in that building to get a towel", and he said "the judgement has already come down, you get one of these towels" and he handed me a thin almost threadbare blood red cloth, you know with unhemmed edges so it will fall appart. and I know that given we had just started this conversation, that theres no way, he contacted anyone to figure out any unique judgement to me, he had a table full of these red threadbare things, and I could tell he was just handing them out to everyone. so knowing this was the only place to get a towel, I put it on but was not pleased, I had a feeling this was a bad connotation. So I grabbed him by the collar knowing he was trying to trick me and said "I adjure you in the name of [spoiler]yahweha yeshu[/spoiler] to tell me only the truth" then his face looked very shocked and scared and he pointed at my shoulders and I looked down and the towel had turned pure white and was no longer threadbare it was thick, and well woven. so I released him, and said "listen, I don't actually mean to hurt you I just want to make sure you're giving me the correct information" and he just backed away and shrunk and when he got to a wall he went down into the gap between the square grey stone flooring and the red brick wall and shrunk until I couldnt see him.
Having no one to talk to, and realizing I had a towel as I was told to go get, and it was white like the people inside the archway building past the changing rooms, not red like the people in the small abodes. I took a look back and realized it wasn't water reflecting the orange sky, but the liquid was bubling and actually emiting orange light not reflecting it.. then I noticed there were fires.
Needless to say I decided "I got a white towel, I better not stick around and accidentally get lost while looking around here, I can see the gate after all(the archway, but there was no actual gate). I get the sense that not many people get a white towel these days, and probably not so fast as this.. I mean I practically walked in here and after two convos got it." So I went straight past the changing rooms. and people in the changing rooms were handing me clothes now, socks mostly, and other garments too. then I went back into the place where white light shone through the windows, found an empty seat and asked if It was ok to sit down. and they said "yes, it wont be long now though" and there was this other door the other side of the room from the hallway which led to the changing rooms, and I noticed that it had some sort of circular blue energy that almost rippled and was clear like water. then a white light came out of it and I woke up.
(now fully awake) back in reality I had a really bad heartbeat that morning, I get them sometimes(irregular heartbeats), it feel very stressful like I'm trying to pump glue through a thin tube and I had no energy, lots of stress chemicals...
so as far as I figure it. because I couldn't get out of the dream and died in the dream... (I mean it really shocked me when I finally woke up). I just wonder, did I die or was I inhabiting someone else and got them killed by someone's second-hand smoke? that bothers me a bit. but if it is just a dream.. still. I was so glad when my towel turned white in that dream.. lol.. I had been pretty worried and forlorn when I kinda put 2 and 2 together and realized that was at least a mental image of hell, and trickery of devils to condemn people... What I learned from that is, my towel turned white of NOTHING to do with me, that was not my doing. if it didn't happen.. I kinda shudder to think, this extrememly long 3 part dream, I wonder if I'd ever have woken up lol...
well.. it's that time again.. off to see what my dreams have in store for me tonight. will things get even weirder? will I ever get enough evidence to satisfy myself that these are just dreams? or will I have more strangities to share? will I come back at all? will I fall into a coma? will I actually die?
only one thing I've never been able to do with my dreams yet. and thats to bring something physical from the dream back to this reality. it does however make me wonder about that time with the open door into the dream world that I could see when I was awake.. what would have happened if I went through that door? could I even go through? or was it just an illusion?
I don't expect to be able to remember tonight's dream. because I have to get up early tomorrow. but, I've been surprised before.
___
I was able to remember last night's dream, it was still on the lucid and vivid side, they fed me some cake, it was tasty. they were running some sort of podcast and each of us spoke after we ate some cake, taking turns. it was definitely not on earth because we flew there in a spaceship, and I could see the lights of the cities on the dark side of the planet as we approached. other than that, there was little to no "inbetween dream and reality" event today. so not much to report.
